America is in Denial [AGREED]
Micah Brown / Curious Regina
If I am being honest, I am clueless about Mitt Romney and most politicians. For most of my life, I maintained a highlight-reel level of political awareness. I know he is a Utah Republican who ran for president, but I will admit I had to research who his Democratic opponent was. It was President Obama. As a liberal woman, I assumed Mitt Romney was far from a politician with views comparable to mine. But today, I am happily wrong. In his Atlantic article, America is in Denial he spoke a truth I could get behind. Here are some of my favorite parts and why they resonate with my life perspective and hope for our country.
“I have witnessed time and again—in myself and in others—a powerful impulse to believe what we hope to be the case.”
We need more people to accept and acknowledge their past and present culpabilities. It is an effortless act to find the faults of others and then drag them through the streets ringing bells of shame. It is more challenging and more fruitful to turn our attention inward.
A classic example of denial comes from Donald Trump: “I won in a landslide.” Perhaps this is a branch of the same delusion that leads people to feed money into slot machines: Because I really want to win, I believe that I will win.
The DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders edition five) says this about delusions:
“Delusions are fixed beliefs that are not amenable to change in light of conflicting evidence.”
The presence of a delusion is not proof of a mental disorder, so do not use this definition as a means to diagnose folks. This definition can help us observe the number of people resistant and strengthened by evidence that conflicts with their fixed beliefs. When faced with someone exhibiting political or cultural delusions, what is an advantageous response?
Attempt to persuade them with facts, stats, and research
Berate them for their lack of discernment and cluelessness
Lead by example and fight for change, truth, and equity
Which option do you land on most days?
Congress is particularly disappointing: Our elected officials put a finger in the wind more frequently than they show backbone against it. Too often, Washington demonstrates the maxim that for evil to thrive only requires good men to do nothing.
Future leaders should be required to pledge a no-finger-to-the-wind leadership style. Our chosen state officials appear to spend much of their time expecting individuals to change, hoping people will use discernment to filter out the truth, and assuming extremists won't be voted into office. We all know what happens when we make assumptions. When you assume you make an ASS-(out of)-U-(and)-ME. It is no longer good enough to speak of good and to desire good within our society, we all must initiate actions aimed at goodness and integrity.
That will require us all to rise above ourselves—above our grievances and resentments—and grasp the mantle of leadership our country so badly needs.
Like gossip, resentments are wastes of time when democracy and community are on the line. We will always have a side we belong to, values that align with one side over another. To possess a lunchroom table posse does not mandate inflexible beliefs about other diners. We can have our groups that meet at various intersections of our identities, and we can choose to free ourselves from resenting those who do not.
I am glad my petite knowledge of Mitt Romney has expanded. I am also glad to have found a piece of relatedness between him and myself. Most of our views may still sit on opposite sides of the aisle, but that does not mean I can't find and accept that he has a message I endorse.
If I searched enough, I could easily find a reason to dislike him. If he cared, he could do the same towards me. And we see people going in that direction every day. Individuals find consolation in their differences from other groups. Many of us discuss how ignorant and dangerous people who build purpose around hate are to our society. We then simultaneously write off individuals who fall outside of our chosen camps. Should those people be ushered into the cookout with open arms? It depends on whether they put raisins in the potato salad or not. But we as a collective should refrain from our natural inclination to sequester into silos built with only one tribe making one sound. One band, one sound is beautiful in music, yet dangerous in the real world.
Listening to understand and being open to our relatedness to people we think are unrelated to us could emancipate us from mutual destructive. If you care about our society, consider evaluating the faults of others less and engaging in leadership more. Leadership does not tear people down it fosters communal growth.
Micah Brown / Curious Regina
