Let's Talk Sexual Liberation
So, what is sexual liberation? Simply put sexual liberation is the freedom to be sexually unbound by society. To be free to assert your sexual identity whatever that may be and in whatever way that may present itself without being slowed down by society. It is destigmatizing sex.
But it of course gets more complicated.
In a 2018 article in The Guardian, Van Badham pointed out that the destigmatization of sex and people's sexual identities that came with the union of the women's movement and the sexual liberation movement of the '60s, also led to in his words, the:
Theoretically releasing women of some of the stigma that accompanies our expressions of our sexual identities has led to what Van calls patriarchal entitlement to sex with women. I would add that this has also led to people feeling entitled to verbally and discreetly treat women in demeaning ways. Such as the way people have historically treated Megan Fox or Amber Rose or Cardi B, or Megan thee motherfreakin' Stallion.
So, while sexual liberation in the '60s and its reinvigoration today has allowed women the publicly acknowledged right to be their sexual selves, as Van puts it in his article it has also enhanced women's "traditional patriarchal status as sex objects, not liberated them from it." The reason for this is the stigma around sex that remains prevalent in our society.
Feeling liberated to be our authentic sexual selves is an amazing freedom that we should all be grateful to have (when we truly have it) but I do think we have to still acknowledge this very real reality. That is that as women (or really any marginalized sexual identity group) being sexually free doesn't make us any safer in this world because as a society there is still a lot of stigma around sex.
Talking openly about sex is still a taboo in many households and corners of our society. So while we worked for and acquired sexual liberation thanks to the wonderful and brave women of the decades before us, we now have to tune into the importance of sexual acceptance.
This means accepting that any sex with any partner, even a paying one, requires consent. It means accepting that there is no polarity between being outwardly sexual (in all of the ways this may present) and being worthy of respect. The two are not mutually exclusive. Amber Rose can be an OnlyFans star AND still deserve respect.
The freedom to be as much or as little sexual as we want is a choice that unfortunately comes with the reality that if we choose the former if we go with more sexuality we are also going with potentially more judgment. BUT judgment is inescapable, so you're better off going with what feels truest because that will cause the least amount of incongruence in your own mental state. We when abandon our wants and the parts of us that feel most like us, we interrupt the balance within ourselves and that dissonance of feeling you are one thing or would like to do one thing and doing another can lead to distress and mental health difficulties.
I know you may be thinking how could something seemingly frivolous like sexual liberation be in the same conversation as potential mental health issues? The reason for that is that sexual liberation and conversations about sex are not as superficial as they are portrayed to be in our communities. The conversations and expectations we have about sex influence how we interact with one another and our feelings regarding sexual assault.
If you haven't already, check out the Sexual Liberation vs. Sexual Acceptance video here for more on this topic:
